Learning How to Find Milfs
You’re probably thinking that this story is some sort of “how to” or some sort of tutorial. I can’t blame you. I mean, that is the title, “Learning How to Find Milfs.” But this title really has more to do with the process that I found myself in.
The funny thing about finding anything of value in life is, in many cases, you find things when you’re not looking for them. This is definitely true in my case when it comes to milfs.
I really can’t say that I was a hit with chicks since time immemorial. In fact, I would admit that I was a flop with women. I mean, seriously, it was hard getting laid in college.
I had this roommate, Pankaj from India, and the dude was just a sexual guru. One time these two twins from Sweden came by and they were talking about some assignment that Pankaj was in and I thought it was just, you know, a purely academic visit.
I had a couple of beers with some buddies at the bar at the end of the street where Pankaj and I lived and then when I entered our flat from the back room, I could hear all sorts of funky sounds coming from Pan’s room. And sure enough, Pan was kind enough to share with me all the juicy details. Apparently, one thing led to the other and my friend Pankaj lived out his own personal Swedish porn fantasy.
I didn’t really quite know how to react at that time. Part of me was so jealous of Pankaj. Part of me wanted to be Pankaj. Another part of me was just fucking clueless and stunned by the whole thing that it’s even possible. So to say that I was trying to play it off by being a little bit skeptical would be an understatement indeed.
Of course, that strategy didn’t really benefit me all that much because you can deny the fact that guys get pussy all the time, all you want, but let me tell you, if that’s your attitude, then the only thing that you’re succeeding in doing is that you’re denying yourself a lot of pussy.
So that was kind of my attitude, and it kind of persisted after college. I mean, I had my share of girlfriends, but they’re fairly fucking shallow relationships. I basically just consider them glorified one night blow jobs and nothing to really write home about.
I thought that was kind of the existence that I was doomed to live out until I learned how to find milfs. There’s something magical that happens to a woman once she hits the age of 35 and she’s had a couple of kids. I would like to imagine that it is some sort of sexual awakening that is very fantastic and even romantically idealized. But let’s face it, it’s really all about maturity.
You see, when a woman is in her 20’s, she’s at the peak of her sexual demand. Like it or not, in the United States, the sexual attractiveness of a woman really turns on one key question: how young she is.
A woman aged 18-21 is at the peak of her prime. She can basically get any cock she wants. It doesn’t matter if she looks like a horse’s ass because she’s in the right sweet spot as far as age is concerned. She can pretty much have her pick of the litter.
But once she gets past 21 and she gets closer to 30, the game changes. In many cases, there’s a race to get married. There’s a race to fucking lock in the high dating value of the average all-Amerian woman.
I understand that hustle, man. I’m not knocking the hustle at all. I understand how it works and there’s no shame in that game.
But something really changes once she’s in her mid-30’s and maybe she’s divorced already. She’s got kids to worry about, she started and stopped and restarted her career. That mix of circumstances is enough to fucking mature anybody. Let’s just get that out of the way.
And if you were to try to boil it all down as to why guys get turned on by milfs, it’s because of that. Because when a woman becomes mature in her mid-30’s, she also physiologically matures. She’s able to achieve multiple orgasms reliably.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you can’t bang a college chick who’s 18-19 and make her cum back to back. That happens quite a bit, of course. But making it happen consistently only takes place once a woman is in her mid-30’s.
There’s a biological aspect to this as well and these all combine and the end result is somebody who pays a big premium for honesty. She’s not out to play games. She knows the lies a guy can possibly dish out. She knows all the head games.
Instead, she wants to get down to business. Do you want to fuck or not? Do you want to make me cum or not? And that sense of honesty where we can almost basically reduce everything into a binary question is the essence of the milf.
As awesome as all this sounds, I still felt that I can’t even get my dick inside a milf. I mean, I was just that sad. And what really changed everything was when I met Carmen.
Carmen was this English teacher from a very uptight English Catholic family. As you can already tell, her lineage is originally from Ireland because there are not too many native English Catholics. So she was kind of a little bit chubby, but one thing that I really dug about her was the fact that she didn’t give a fuck.
She sometimes does not shave her legs and the school that I was an administrator in kind of laughed at her because she’s one of the teachers and her kids can see her with hairy legs. The social convention, of course, is that women should shave their legs.
I really dug that Santa Cruz vibe about her because I spent some time at the University of California, Santa Cruz, and one rite of passage there was that a lot of women refuse to shave. So they have hairy underarms and armpits and also hairy legs.
I wasn’t exactly turned off by Carmen’s look and it showed in the way we talked because I guess she understood that I really accepted her. I didn’t really think much of her. I mean, I’m not really that big of a chubby chaser, you know. I kind of like my women on the lean side.
Anyway, we had a staff party and there was a bit too many bottles of wine being passed around and I basically had to excuse myself because I didn’t know if I was going to throw up. I was getting really, really drunk. If you know a thing or two about school administrators, the last thing that you want is to have your staff see you drunk and making an ass out of yourself.
So I kind of saw how things were shaping so I wanted to save face early on. I basically told everybody that I was going to step out a bit. So I was there in the courtyard of the hotel, pretty far away from the party and I heard Carmen’s call behind me. “Joe!”
I turned around and I was kind of surprised that somebody followed me there. Apparently, she followed me soon after I left the party. I was kind of annoyed because the reason why I left was I didn’t want anybody to see me getting drunk.
“Hi, Carmen” I said with a sheepish grin.
“Mind if I join you? I’m not much of a party person.”
Right then and there I liked Carmen. I mean, I’ve liked her before, but in a fairly neutral way. She didn’t really strike me as a friend or foe. She’s just a face in the crowd. But right there, I sensed that maturity and confidence in knowing her comfort level.
She’s in her mid-30’s and she was wearing these granny glasses. She looked very, very conservative.
There was a full moon out and we were just talking about academics, working in the academic world, providing educational services in a private school setting. You know, the whole bureaucratic shoptalk that would expect from two veteran teachers. In my case, school administrator.
As I was just droning on about stuff that I thought she wanted to hear or talk about, she just blurted out,”My husband never made me cum.”
That blew my mind. I mean, I kind of sobered up at that point. Okay, that’s fucking awkward. And the funny thing about that statement, as much as it threw me off track, was that it opened the floodgates for her sharing stuff about herself and I felt that I had to reciprocate.
So I basically said to her, “Carmen, many times I don’t really know whether I want to manage a school or be an administrator. Maybe my real calling is to basically blog from all over the world. I mean, I spend several hours of my morning just going through several travel blog sites, feeling jealous of these people who, with measly budgets of a couple of hundred dollars, would go from Vietnam, to Thailand, to the Philippines, to Malaysia, to Indonesia, to Myanmar, to Southern China, and then from China to Russia. Part of me just wants to live that lifestyle.”
And when I was sharing that story with her, she was telling me about the months she spent in Tibet as a volunteer. And something just clicked. We both basically were living in the exact same space. And that’s when I found a milf right in front of me.
Finding milfs is not some sort of science. It’s not some sort of checklist where you zero in on a chick and just plug her into this checklist and out comes a result.
To find milfs, you basically just have to open your eyes and ears. In other words, you have to tap into your inner sense of humanity because we all have the ability to hear if we allow ourselves to.
A lot people spend a lot of time hearing, but they don’t really listen. We often open our mouths to make sounds, but we don’t really talk. We fail to touch the hearts of each other and that’s what we had going on.
And I did not want to let that go. I was feeling really selfish that I basically wanted to make it a physical thing because I did not want to let this connection go. So I invited her to my room and I ended up banging her doggy style.
And while she was a little bit chubby, and there’s definitely a lot cushion for the pushing, what really blew my mind was the fact that her grunts and moans created this electric atmosphere that basically signalled to me that there were no fucking limits. You can be as goofy as you want, you can make all these crazy fuck faces as you want and you’re fully accepted.
And we still have that space, even to this day, because she is kind of like my girlfriend, meaning, we fuck. We haven’t really gotten around to committing to calling each other boyfriend-girlfriend or living with each other, but it’s the most amazing connection.
To learn how to find milfs, you have to basically learn how to listen to yourself because, let’s face it, we’re not all that different from each other. We all have the same needs. Of course, we express it in different ways.
It manifests itself in the form of different experiences, but the same core holds. By tapping into this, not only would you be able to find milfs, but you’ll also be able to find a key part of yourself.